Episode 9: The Gay Gospel

"So you're a Christian?" Brian asked Andrea, "And you're a lesbian? How does that work? I thought the Bible was anti-gay?"

"There are only a handful of verses that seemingly condemn homosexuality," Andrea responded, "Which is in sharp contrast to the dozens if not hundreds of verses that condemn any other sin. How you interpret those 6 passages is the key. While most evangelicals interpret them as anti gay, there are gay-friendly interpretations too."

Brian had to think about this for a second. It went against everything he had been told when he came out.

"I was real religious in my early teens," Brian said, "I gave my life to Christ when I was 12. I realized I was gay when I was 16, and went through a crisis of faith, begging God to make me straight. When he didn't, I concluded that he didn't exist. I left the faith of my childhood, and was shunned by my family as a result."

"That's so sad!" Zack said, "I am so sorry to hear that. It's too bad you didn't hear Andrea's gay gospel back then!"

"Now you care about religion?" Andrea asked, "Usually your eyes glaze over when I talk about religion."

Episode 8: The Return of the Cute Guy

Brian's blood was boiling. He was stood up so his date could go on a date with another man?!?

"You okay, hun?" asked the waitress.

"What do you care!" shot back Brian, "I am just a fudge packer!"

"I have experienced heartbreak enough to recognize it on someone else," the young waitress said, "And heartbreak hurts just as bad whether straight or queer."

"If you must know, the guy I was waiting on just walked by in some other guy's arm!"

"Oh my dear, I am so sorry. Let me go get you a piece of pie, on me." the waitress said.

"I appreciate the gesture," Brian said, "But I would prefer it on a plate! You just have the wrong body parts for my taste!"

Laughing, the waitress walked away to get his pie.

Then he saw the cute guy and his lesbian friend walk back into the diner.

Waving them over, he told them, "I couldn't help but hear about what happened between your mom and you when you were in here earlier. Why don't you have a seat, and your coffee is on me."

The cute giy looked at his friend, who just shrugged her shoulders. They sat down.

Episode 7: Brian Stood Up

After the cute guy left with his lesbian friend, Brian looked at his watch. Tommy was an hour late.

Why does this always happen to me? Brian wondered.

Tommy had looked cute on his dating profile. As they talked, a couple red flags went off though. He still lived with his ex-boyfriend. And still spoke very highly of him. And the two have had an on and off relationship. And only been split up a couple weeks.

In spite of the red flags, Brian decided he would still meet him and give him a fair chance.

"A lot of good its done for me though!" Brian muttered.

"Haven't you been here long enough?" the homophobic waitress asked, placing his coffee down in front of him.

"Are you wanting a zero tip, or does being rude actually get you good tips?" Brian asked.

"I figured I blew the tip with my comments earlier," the waitress responded.

"No, I am not like that," Brian replied, placing a 10% tip on the table, "But I will be calling your manager in the morning."

Glancing out the window, Brian saw Tommy walk by, arm in arm with another guy.

Episode 6: Chris Recognizes the Lesbian

As a conservative Christian, Andrea would never touch alcohol. As a drama major, however, she could convince anyone she was drunk.

"Can I have that Grande package I ordered now?" Andrea giggled loudly as they entered Zack's apartment, her words slurred.

"Shhh! My roommate is probably sleeping!" Zack replied.

"No I am not!" Chris laughed from inside his apartment.

As soon as he saw Andrea, however, Chris's smile turned into a scowl. "What's going on here?"

"What's it look like?" asked Zack.

"I know what it looks like," Chris said, "But I also know you're not going to sleep with her. She's a lesbian!"

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't slander my girlfriend!" Zack roared.

"I have seen her at several queer rallies, and I will not have her in my dorm!"

"Maybe I am bisexual," Andrea giggled.

Chris feigned interest, asking hopefully, "Really?"

"This queer has 10 seconds to get out of my dorm, or I am calling the police for trespassing!"

"She is my guest, and has every right to be here!"

"You cannot afford this apartment on your own. If she is still here in the morning, I will request a new dorm!"

Stomping out of the room, Chris slammed the door behind him.

Episode 5: Homophobic Waitress

Brian walked into the diner, exhausted from his evening jog.

He saw a couple in a corner booth. The woman was sobbing, and the really cute guy was trying to console her. It really touched his heart.

Picking a seat where he could watch the couple, he checked his wristwatch. He was just a few minutes early. There was no sign of Tommy.

"I'm waiting on someone, but I will take a coffee while I wait," Brian told the waitress when she came over.

"Do you know the story on the couple in the corner?" he asked her.

"Yeah, she's a queer who's momma kicked her out of the house."

Brian tried to not let his disgust for her blatant homophobia as he responded, "And the guy?"

"Don't know. They've only been talking about her troubles since he came in. I hope he's not one too, he's way too cute to be a fudge packer."

"Did you know that I am also a 'fudge packer', ma'am? Please try to conceal your homophobia!"

"Of course, all the cute ones are gay!" she muttered as she walked away.

Glancing over at the couple, he noticed she had stopped crying and was trying to tell some sort of joke.

The cute guy looked even cuter as he laughed in response.

Episode 4: A Pretend One Night Stand

"So what happened?" Zack asked his friend Andrea.

"My mother decided to go to Bible Study this week at her new church. The topic was homosexuality."

"I think I heard this story before," Zack moaned, recalling Chris' story.

"I know. We all have. Anyways, I had just recently convinced my mom to accept me, convinced her that God loved me too. That I was just as Christian as she was. Today, her Pastor managed to tell her I was all wrong, that I was a lesbian going straight to hell."

Zack was confused. "So that is Christian speak for what? 'Throw your daughter out on the street'?"

Andrea sighed, "She was convinced that she had to administer some tough love in order for me to see the errors of my ways. Now I have no where to go."

"I have a friend who's wife and him run a GLBT shelter for those who have nowhere else to go. Come home with me tonight, and we will call him first thing in the morning. But there is one thing."

"What is that?" Andrea asked.

"My roommate is a real homophobe. Can you pretend to be a chick I picked up at the bar?"

"Just get the straight man's fantasy out of your head of sleeping with a lesbian," Andrea laughed, "I will not take pretending that far."

Episode 3: Chris' Bible Study

"So how was Bible study?" Zack asked his roommate Chris when he finally walked in.


"Ugh, it was a disaster!" Chris responded, "The pastor was taking us through the verses that condemn homosexuality, and one of the women got offended because her daughter is a queer."


"You guys didn’t run her out of there with torches and pitchforks?" Zack teased.


"No," Chris laughed, "Although I would have liked to. Her daughter has thoroughly brainwashed her into believing that the Bible wasn’t anti-gay. She was trying to say that everywhere the Bible condemns homosexuality, its really talking about temple prostitutes."


Zack’s interest was peaked. "You mean, the Bible isn’t anti-gay?"


Chris laughed derisively. "Of course it is! Homosexuality is an abomination! The pastor took the whole Bible study time explaining this to her, and insisting that her daughter was headed straight to hell unless she could convince her daughter to give up her wicked lifestyle."


Zack’s phone began to ring. After checking the Caller ID, Zack answered it, "What's up, Andrea?"


Andrea was sobbing, "Can you meet me at the diner? I need someone to talk to."


"Its kinda late. What’s wrong?"


"My mom just got home from Bible Study. She’s kicking me out. I have nowhere to go!"

"No problem! I will be there in 20 minutes."

Episode 2: Brian's First Day of Class

A poke in his arm woke Brian up. He looked over at the cute guy beside him.

"You may wanna stay awake, this sounds important!" The cute guy whispered.

Brian couldn't believe it was only the first day of class and he was already falling asleep. This did not bode well for Intro to Financial Accounting.

"I repeat, if you fall asleep in my class you will only recieve one warning," the professor was saying, "The second time, I will ask you to leave. Third time, it will be permanent."

"Try not to be boring, and we won't fall asleep," the cute guy whispered to Brian.

After class finally ended, Brian introduced himself. "Hello, my name is Brian."

"The name is Robert."

"I was wondering if you'd like to get a cup of coffee with me?"

Robert frowned, "I am sorry, but I'm not gay."

Brian responded, "Alas, the cute guys never are."

"There are several thousand girls who always complain that all the cute guy are gay," laughed Robert.

"I must be looking in all the wrong places then."

"Listen, my wife and I are having a party this weekend. I have a few gay friends who may be there. Wanna come?"

He wasn't sure if he trusted himself drinking around a hottie such as Robert. Last time he drank around a cute straight man, he tried kissing him.

"I don't know, I may show up."

Episode 1- Zack's Break Up

"I'm sorry," she whispered through the telephone, "But we both saw this coming. We've been drifting apart since you left for Northwest U last semester."

Zack couldn't argue with that. But he knew her well enough to know when she was withholding information.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" He asked.

The hesitation on the other side of the line was all the answer he needed. "I can't believe this! You might as well have been cheating on me!"

"No, its not like that!" She pleaded, "I've remained faithful!"

"Maybe with your body," he countered, "But the heart is all that matters!"

"So it would have been better if I had cheated, as long as it had meant nothing?" She bit back.

"Yes!"

The click of the phone as she hung up was deafening.

"So I guess its really over," he muttered.

"Good!" a masculine voice called from the bedroom, "Now can you come back to bed? We don't have too long before your roommate returns!"

'Might as well,' thought Zack, racing to the bedroom to join the naked hunk lying in his bed.